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He loves me, he loves me not…

One day I decided that I don’t want to be the type of person that holds back. I don’t want to keep my feelings contained inside. That’s why I try to be outspoken, outspoken to the point that I’m almost blunt, perhaps even rude or even brash. To me being an outspoken person is being someone who is strong, someone who is honest in their relationships, someone who is living their life true to themselves. Even though I don’t always accomplish this I feel satisfied and less anxious by living my life this way.

Shrek says ‘It’s better out than in’ and I personally don’t think there has ever been a truer saying. Bottling in your feelings just creates this well of self-loathing and over-analysing that will just lead to depression. I want to love myself and live happily and healthily.

Of course being outspoken comes with its problems….in this case I’m referring to the romantic kind.

When I get even the smallest amount of romantic feelings for someone and I feel that they might reciprocate these feelings, rather than agonising over it I tend to put it out in the open and state it. ‘I like you’

I have a tendency to confess. Of course I say tendency but it isn’t something that happens often, I don’t like people that easily, so I don’t tend to confess. But the problem with trying to be an outspoken person all the time is that most of the time my lips move before my brain catches up with it and before I could do anything I said those words to him.

‘I LIKE YOU’

Now if you read my previous post, the one before this, you’ll know that I don’t really have any actual romantic experience and that this confession didn’t go particularly well. I mean he hugged me and I got my hopes up, only for him to say he’s seeing someone right now, but they’re not his girlfriend and he still wants to hang out.

This left me more than a but confused.

Especially because I think we look nice together, we share the same hobbies, we get on great and he’s always giving me cuddles and he never gave me any inclination that he was seeing someone.

When I told my friends about this they gave me mixed responses.

M: ‘If he says he’s seeing someone but she isn’t his girlfriend then that means he’s just being respectful right and he’s not serious about this girl. The option is still open for you he just needs to deal with the person he’s currently seeing’

B: ‘You guys are so cute together, just wait it out and keep being friends. There’s no rush.”

J: ‘He’s a player, he’s two timing you and doing those mind-games. He’s eastern European as well, they just love doing those mind games on girls and they can’t express themselves properly. Trust me girl, I told you about my past experience. Jump off the sinking ship while you can.’

Honestly I don’t know who to listen to. M made me hopeful, B calmed me down and made me wait, and J just made me worried. But the thing is I’m more inclined to believe J because I don’t know who this chick that he’s supposedly seeing is or whether she even exists. Plus if you’re seeing a girl why would you be hugging and hanging out with another girl unless you’re playing with them. Also when we started messaging he approached me first when talking, yet lately it feels like I’m the one that has to initiate and continue conversation and I’m a bit fed up.

That sad thing is I really like him.

So what do you think guys, should I jump off the sinking ship? Does he like me or is he messing with me?

Thanks for reading, please comment I’m in need of some serious advice.

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Flash Fiction, The adventures of Max

Another day in Class.

Mr. Richards is grumbling about Politics. He’s talking about the judiciary and making the class take the same notes over and over again. It’s times like this that Max really wonders why he chose this subject. He thought it would be more exciting, like learning about Terrorism and Human rights or Regionalism, but apparently that is for the next year. This year they are learning about UK politics, which is enjoyable in its own way, but Max feels disengaged. It is so difficult, he just can’t wrap his mind around the subject whatsoever. It is nearly exam time and he still can’t remember how legislature went through parliament and still hasn’t done any of his notes or mind-maps.

‘Perhaps I should be listening in this lesson’, Max thought, but the moment he thought it the idea ran out his ear. There is no point, it is a lost cause, he’d just drop it or worse come to worse he’d drop school altogether and take an apprenticeship. Max is the type of person that doesn’t stress about education or the future. As far as he is concerned, grades, or the type of job he got didn’t dictate the quality of life he would have in the future.

Max looks out the window, watching the clouds pass, then Mr. Richards, noticing his lack of attention, says, “Mr. Malis can you tell me how a judge can retain their neutrality?”

Max can only stare at him blankly. “I don’t know sir, but I do know I need to go to the toilet, so I’ll be back in a bit.” Although Max says this he is really just planning on ditching the class. So he picks up his bag and stands up.

At his words other students begin laughing, chatting, saying “typical Max”, “always dozing off”, “lol”, “exams are soon he should get his act together” and “is he actually leaving?” At their words and Max’s actions Mr. Richards’ face goes redder and redder with anger, but before he can scream Max is already skipping out the classroom.

Max goes into the quiet corridors and begins walking down the stairs. He stretches, yawns, and starts his journey home.

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Anime, Travel Writing

A Hyper Japan Journey! (2017)

 

This Summer I had my first ever journey to Hyper Japan, an event that I had been highly anticipating for over a year, and it most definitely lived up to my expectations.

For those who don’t know what Hyper Japan is, it is a festival held in London, it is the UK’s largest event that celebrates Japanese culture and cuisine. It is held twice a year, in summer (Summer festival)and winter (Hyper Japan Christmas market.) At Hyper Japan you can experience live concerts by Japanese celebrities, and experience Japanese food, anime, Japanese gaming and clothing.

The day was the 14th of July. My Sister and I woke up especially early that Friday Morning so as to iron our outfits, put on our contact lenses and be super extra and kawaii for the day. The journey began as I ran to the train station with my sister and bought my London day travel card. Whilst waiting at the station we took cute selfies and then headed towards London. We got off at Limehouse and then took the DLR to Shadwell.

It was at this point that google maps told us to to walk to the venue and that it would take 4 minutes or less, however since my sister and I are hopeless at directions we had no idea which way google maps was taking us until I saw people that were dressed in cosplay or just had that ‘I-am-going-to-a-japanese-convention-vibe’ around them. We were so hyped we practically leaped on them, asking them whether they were also attending ‘Hyper Japan’ and we were delighted when they said ‘yes’.

We began exchanging names as we walked, two of the people we met there was a lovely girl that I’ll call C and a tall boy with green hair that I’ll call S. They both seemed so much more composed then my sister and myself that I assumed that they were older than us. So you can imagine my face when they told us they were 16. They were such wonderful people, so much so that we became instant friends and ended up spending the entire day together.

When we eventually reached Tobacco Dock we lined up, and I must tell you that in comparison to other events which I’ve attended the line for Hyper Japan went very quickly and smoothly. I think we barely stood for 10 minutes before the line started moving and even when it stopped it was brief.

The first thing that you’ll see when you get into Hyper Japan are the super Kawaii merch stores. They sell Japanese influenced designed shirts, anime posters, hair pins, accessories, pins, DVD’s you name it. Also as you walk around you can also see a lot of decora fashion trends and Decora girls and boys. I love Decora girls I think they’re so cute, I myself have never had the time try out the fashion trend, and I’m not sure if I could do it as successfully as I lack the experience and my make-up skills still have a long way to go. I am quite annoyed because I only attended Hyper Japan for the Friday session and I really wanted to meet Kurebayashi (an instagram star and famous Decora girl) however as much as I searched for her on Friday I wasn’t able to meet her.

There were also many cute cosplayers and general people milling around that came to enjoy the culture of the event which I met and had a great time with.

I myself bought a lot of posters, t-shirts, sake, chopsticks, pocky and some CD’s of some of the Japanese artists that I like such at the Gazette, The Age of Civil wars, and Toriena. I was especially excited that I got to meet The Age of Civil wars and Toriena at Hyper Japan, they performed live and it was so amazing, in the pictures above you can see me posing with them. I also met the lead vocalist for a band I like named Broken Doll, Sachi was so lovely and she took a group picture with myself and my friends.

Then there were the Tokyo Rickshaws!!!! They were the kindest people ever, they were so talented at singing, dancing and they were all so handsome (taking my mind out of the gutter) they were so awesome and lovely. The Hyper Japan official website describes them as— “Visit the traditional neighbourhood of Asakusa in Tokyo, and you’re sure to see rickshaws rolling around, snug tourists being pulled along by strong young men known as “shafu.” Tokyo Rickshaw is made of of four such men, who have taken the art of being “shafu” to a whole other level. Combining exciting music and acrobatics, this dance/music/acrobatic unit presents an unforgettable stage show embodying the spirit of Japanese-ness! “

Then there is also Toriena, I am mentioning her again because I absolutely love her, I don’t listen to trap or dubstep music often but when it comes to her I am all over it. Her music is just so fun to listen to and she is so kind!!! When she autographed my CD she said she liked my hat and that I was ‘kawaii!!’ I nearly died.

Then there was SHIN, former vocalist of the Visual Kei band ViViD. I was really looking forward to seeing him there on Friday, and I not only got to see him live I also got to get his autograph and he is amazing. I didn’t get a clear video of his performance but this is a very good one that an amazing human uploaded.

You know that moment of tranquility you have when you’re at home, you’re heart is at peace and you feel like you found the destination you truly belong. That is how I feel every time I attend a Japanese or anime-related event. When I am surrounded by people of like-minds, where you can freely express your interests without being judged, where you can have a good time and embrace a new culture. That was the thrilling tranquil part I loved about Hyper Japan.

And as I went home with the new friends I made that day (and my sister) I found myself determined to enjoy such an event again. When the sun set on July 14th it also set on a satisfying and fantastic day.

This was supposed to be a more controlled piece of writing, but as I’ve been busy working lately I didn’t have much time to post lately or spend writing this, so it has ended up being more of a fun post listing the great things about Hyper Japan. But I hope these list of experiences show you how fun Hyper Japan is, and you can put it on your list of festivals you want to attend.

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Flash Fiction

Winter Snow

Squeals came from the bedroom as Isabelle and Catherine wake up and see the first snow of the season waving by their window. The winter snow fell thick and heavy, a blanket, that hid the rough and ugly parts of the world.

Isabelle ran to her parents bedroom, her little feet moving faster then lightning. She banged on the door. “Mummy!!!! Daddy!!!!Mummy!!!! Daddy!!! Mummy!!!” The screaming continued until Isabelle’s tired Mother came out, her hair tousled, bags underneath her eyes.

“Didn’t I tell you that Mummy needed to sleep in today, I had such a late shift yesterday. And it’s only 6am Isabelle!!!” Groaned their Mother. She yawned.

A second later her Father popped out the bedroom door and scooped up Isabelle in his arms. “Good Morning Princess. What’s all the ruckus?”

Isabelle squealed in her Father’s arms and then shrieked “Mummy, Daddy, it’s snowing.”

“Snowing!” exclaimed the parents in unison.

The Mother felt a tug on her legs, it was little Catherine pulling her, “Everyone, Everyone!!! We must see the snow.”

Laughing the parents humoured Isabelle and Catherine, following Catherine who pulled them to her bedroom. As the parents gazed out the large double-glazed windows whilst hugging their children, the Father sighed, “It’s going to be hard driving to work in this.”

“It’s so pretty!!” chirped Isabelle and Catherine.

The Mother kissed both her girls on the forehead, “I love the winter snow too.”

I love heartwarming scenes, that are so simple, like a family being brought together by some winter snow. When I was younger similar occurrences happened, and as I grow older I appreciate the more innocent moments of the past. I hope in the future I can be happy and have cute moments like this with my own kids.

Comment and tell me sweet and simple childhood memories you have.

P.S sorry for posting this late, I’ve been doing lots of shifts at my part-time job lately

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Flash Fiction, The adventures of Max

Fated to be

Max reached his hand out to grab a Haribo packet from the top shelf, yet as his hand touched the sweet packet so did a hand belonging to someone else. Max pulled with all his might, ‘This is the last packet.” he thought, ‘There is no way I’m giving this up, I need to fuel my sweet addiction for today.’

Max turned to face the owner of the hand which was attempting to steal his sweets. Just as he was about to angrily yell ‘try another store’ he was stunned into silence.

“Max, is that you!?” exclaimed the owner of the hand, “Oh my God!! It’s me Tyler! Don’t you remember me!”

Max gasped, how could he forget. It was Tyler his best friend, or more like former best friend. They had gone to the same school since they were young, they had been neighbours, their parents had been friends, they even shared the same birthday. However, Tyler moved away with his family abroad, and Max had been left all alone.

They had exchanged letters but eventually they both got tired of sending them. Now Max was a University Student living in his student accommodation. He had long since believed that they would never meet again, in fact he assumed Tyler had forgotten about him entirely. Yet here they met in an old, run down corner store, like fate was pulling them together.

“Tyler I can’t believe this.”

“What are the chances that we would meet like this Max!”

“Well I always said we were fated to be—”

“Fated to be best friends!!”

 

This is a short 260 word flash-fiction piece I was going to enter into a competition but I ended up submitting a different one instead. This story is also my own secret aspiration, there are a few friends that I have completely lost touch with that I would love to meet again. So I really emphasise with Max. I hope you enjoyed reading this.

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Anime, Travel Writing

A Journey through Comic con – 2016 (May)

Hello, I’m back again with another Comic con post.

 

 

I got a lot of nice feedback on my post ‘A Journey to Comic con- 2014’, where I described my first ever journey to Comic con (lol that statement was a bit self-explanatory).

So it motivated me to write and publish faster my second ever comic-con experience, which was some time later in 2016. This time I won’t be describing the journey to the venue since it was the same Convention so the route is also the same, but I will describe the stalls I went to, the events, and the amazing people I met.


The day was the 25th of May 2016. Summer was here; the heat came beating down giving every British citizen a new topic for conversation and causing every Cosplayer whom were standing in the long lines to enter MCM London Comic con, to sweat inside their costumes. I remember whilst standing in one of those lines experiencing some interesting smells because of that, I was just glad that I had a nice can of deodorant on myself and that my outfit was well suited for the weather. As you can see in the pictures I was wearing a white skirt and white tank top. It was my low-budget cosplay of a female clone trooper from Star wars. (I was saving my money so please understand!)

The day began as My twin sister and I got off the train and into the line. We were excited because there was a huge haul of anime and manga that we wanted to buy, and it had been nearly two years since we’d been to a Con together. We needed this sweet reprieve to heal us from the stress of daily life.

As we got closer to the ticket barrier, which is more a table and bench where MCM volunteers/ employees take your ticket and give you a wrist band to allow easy entry and exit, I found myself talking to people in their amazing Touken Ranbu cosplays. I was kind of fawning over them, I always admire talented and  beautiful cosplayers. If you read the last post you can probably tell that I haven’t stopped being a weird fan-girl that freaks out over Cosplay, and I am determined never to change. I found myself laughing with them but just as I was about to establish the necessary bond of friendship by exchanging numbers, we had already reached the ticket area, gotten our wrist bands and my sister was dragging me away to the other exit of the convention. This was because neither of us had gone to the ATM that morning to take out cash for the con, and trust me majority of the stalls will only accept cash, you can’t go there with just your card unless your planning on window shopping.

We went to the ATM at the other end of the convention and went into the line, however a nice guy wearing a Jason mask told everyone that the machine was broken. A series of moans escaped from us all. My sister and I soon went on a hunt for the second ATM, only to find out that it was also broken. Just when we were losing hope a boy, wearing a Kuroko no basuke Cosplay, told us that lots of people were walking down the main street in hopes of finding an ATM. So following the young man my Sister and I like the adventurers we were, began our quest on the streets of London to find an ATM. Soon enough we had joined a huge crowd of cosplayers walking down a residential street that mostly consisted of apartments.

I bet the residents in the apartment buildings must of thought a parade was going on and I remember a little girl and her Father walking out of an apartment building ‘ooohing’ and ahhing’ at us as went by.

I remember that My sister and I started having a lovely conversation with a guy in a Kirito cosplay as we walked. When we finally reached the ATM, which was outside a local supermarket/convenience store, I wasn’t surprised by the massive line that awaited us. However, lines at a convention are the best, I started talking with people behind and in front of us about the new anime that had come out in the fall, winter and spring seasons and having a great laugh. This one guy had a giant boombox that was playing vocaloid music and placed it down on the side of the line, some people began break dancing. It was brilliant.

Eventually we did get to the ATM, thankfully in time to get our cash before the machine ran out. Then My sister and I raced to the food stall area where they sold traditional Japanese food like Ramen, Gyoza, or Miso soup. This food area was smack-bang in the middle of one of the busiest sections of the convention, nearby you could see stalls selling merchandise and comics. There was the huge ‘CEX’ exchange store logo near the stands where they sold DVD’s and there were also two stages nearby where they were giving talks on games/interviews and there was a stage where Kpop enthusiasts were dancing their socks off.

We were waiting for some of my sisters friends who went to her sixth-form, we’d made an arrangement to meet up with them and were going to hang out for the day. As soon as we met I shrieked, it was because one of my sisters friends were wearing a Mahouka cosplay and it suited him very well. I was really impressed. Soon we were wandering around the stalls. In one section there were many Star wars cosplayers. I met fellow Clone troopers, and many Jedi and Sith who were having intense battles.

(The one talking in the background is my sister, this is her Youtube channel where she just posts random Comic con footage :))

Soon after, as we all had different objectives of what to buy, our group split up. My sister and I wandering off, buying some anime Merch; I think we got a ton of posters from a variety of our fave series, pillow cases, key chains and lamps. Oh and of course we bought our haul of anime DVDs of our favourite series. I remember feeling annoyed because they didn’t have Arslan Senki in stock (but I later bought that in October of that year in the winter Convention- which I will get around to writing about I swear.)

We even participated in the karaoke stall, where we sang an opening for Naruto and won two anime DVDs. There we met this lovely man, though I forget his name, who was Cosplaying as a Mahou shoujo (magical girl) and we started venturing with him. Since we had bought all we wanted, way too much to carry we went to see the events together.

One of these events was my favourite utaite, Amatsuki. And he was freaking brilliant live. I have all his albums, I also have him on Spotify, and I got his picture and his autograph that day (It literally made my year.) I just love his music, it just makes me so happy and uplifts my spirits, you definitely have to check him out.

(The braided head you see at the front is me….As you can tell I was super hyped)

Then there was also Bandmaid, and I love Jrock so I was freaking hyped to see them there as well. They were so wicked live!!!

Afterwards we ate some food, regrouped with the rest of my sisters friends and ended up hanging out for the rest of the evening. Since we hadn’t got tickets for the after party we left around 6 or 7 or perhaps later, my memory is a bit foggy. I do remember that as I sat on the rocking train I hugged my sister and exclaimed, “Today was freaking EPIC!!”

And that was my Journey through Comic con.

I hope you enjoyed this account of Comic con Summer 2016. Thank you for reading.

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Travel Writing

A Motionless In White Concert

My second ever concert experience was to see MIW. It was all due to the hard efforts and enthusiasm of my best friend who was, and I think still is, a complete fan-girl over the band. I remember how she was especially excited because their third full length album ‘Reincarnate’ had come out earlier that year in September, and she was dying to hear it live in their November concert.

It was at the Forum, a Concert hall in London. I remember getting many trains and walking down many roads to get there, my friend and their mother in tow. (We were too young to go on our own). I would like to go into the finite detail about how I felt travelling there on that day but sadly my memory is hazy and the journey itself wasn’t exactly the highlight of the event. All I remember was that my best friend was very excited. She was practically spewing to me everything she knew about the band, she needed to educate me because my 15 year old self was sadly ignorant about MIW.

I at the time only knew a few things about MIW. I liked their music but generally being a Visual Kei fan who listened to X- Japan, L’arc en Ciel, Acid black cherry, and the Gazette I generally didn’t pay too much attention to western bands when I was younger. I only went because my best friend was a huge fan of MIW, and who doesn’t love going to a concert. I loved the sensations that a concert gives, such as when you feel the heavy bass thrumming on the floor, the group excitement from all these fellow concert goers that was simply contagious, also seeing some kicking music live is also a brilliant feature of a concert. So I was anticipating the event, just not to the same degree as my friend. (Author’s note: I am not as ignorant as I was back then, just wanted to say I really love Motionless in White now.)

We came, I believe 5 hours early this was because my best friend, who was more experienced at going to concerts than myself, said it would be better to go early as we didn’t want to be in the back of the line. She was completely correct, as even when we got there ( and we got there early), there was quite the huge trail of people starting to grow at the entrance of the venue. I remember us getting relatively close to the entrance despite this and sitting down amongst other concert goers. My friend was dressed in her new-rocks and this lovely black dress with black leggings. I recall that myself, whose clothes were mostly bought by my own Mother were stripey and green. My best friend’s hair was bright red and black, I too had similarly coloured braids at the time, but I remember feeling under dressed and not as cool as her, my glasses made me look nerdy, and she really had that rock-star vibe going for her. I saw others in the line also wearing their fantastically designed ripped/slashed clothing, with their Demonia boots and amazing hairstyles. I kept thinking how amazing everyone looked, and how one day I would aspire to mimic their styles.

Then it happened, perhaps by stroke of luck because we came so early, but I heard people whisper. “Chris Motionless is coming out to greet fans.” My best friend squealed in anticipation. I was also shocked, although I wasn’t the greatest of fans at the time, I still knew who Chris Motionless was. In shock  I whispered, “Chris Motionless!?” however My friend took that the wrong way. “Alexia!” she hissed a me, “How could you not know who Chris Motionless is!?” I wanted to explain that I did but for some reason I just acted like I was ignorant and played it off like I didn’t.

Eventually Chris Motionless came up to us, he stood with my best friend . I took a picture of them both together. God, I remember saying to them ‘Say Cheese’ and ‘smile’ like a complete twat, yep if I could dig a hole straight to China I would of back then. I was too embarrassed to take a picture with him myself, which ended up being one of my biggest regrets later on in life. Although I know I shouldn’t still be caught up on it, it was three years ago, but it still kind of haunts me.

After that we stayed in the line for 5 hours, there was a cafe nearby that you could use to go to the toilet. My best friends Mother (Who is like the most awesome human ever by the way) bought us food and drinks as well. Although I wanted to talk to other people in the line, and I think we did slightly, I remember being too shy and not really knowing what to say. So instead, as I do when I’m nervous, I started babbling to my friend. Saying complete nonsense, probably even annoying the heck out of her. But, she’s lovely so she never told me if I annoyed her or not.

Then when the sky had began turning a bit dark the doors to the concert opened, and the crowd; and I say crowd because the line I believe at the point was gigantic, rushed in. The Concert hall was dark, I remember seeing a bar to the side where people were getting drinks. My best friends Mother had a seat on the balcony, and we were in Standing, so alone we descended toward the front of the stage.

After a while of chatter a band that I don’t really recall the name of came out, they were opening the stage and they welcomed us all with a roar. They were okay I guess. I liked the guitarist and found myself jumping up and down to the beat a bit. I remember this one guy in the audience went a bit wild, I guess he was a fan of them. I think he tried to start his own little mosh pit, but all that generated was a bout of swearing in his direction. Even now I find it hilarious. (Researched and the bands name was Devilment)

Soon they had finished and then Lacuna Coil came out, Andrea Ferro and Cristina Scabbia’s vocals took my soul on an adventure I tell you. To be honest I didn’t know much about the band when they came on the stage but after they were done I swear to you I became a near die hard fan. I just loved it. Sadly these were the only decent quality picture I got of them. I was too busy headbanging :). I haven’t seen them in concert since then but I hope to get the opportunity to in the future.

Then as usual the headliners are always the last to appear on the stage. Motionless in White came out with a bang. It was like the entire crowd had a spring in them, because suddenly everyone had sprang out of control. I can’t specifically remember what Chris Motionless said but I remember it driving everyone crazy and when the first chord of ‘Reincarnate’ came out my best friend was jumping up and I followed the hysteria. The excitement was just too contagious. It was such a freaking epic concert that I felt like kicking myself for my previous luke-warm excitement, and wishing I had taken a picture with him. Ahhh the stupidity of youth, alas I had lost my chance.

So when the concert was over although I was buzzing like I’d been struck by lightning I still felt a tinge of regret. Thus when I saw them selling shirts of the concert near the exit I spent £10 and bought it on the spot. I still have it, it’s a pretty epic memento. I found myself hugging it as we got on the underground, many other concert-goers went on the same train, so it was quite a lovely sight seeing a train packed with goths, punks, and metal heads alike.

And here it is. My experience at a Motionless in White Concert. Comment and tell me about your concert experiences.

 

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